I have not shaved in a month and a half. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, probably not. But it's a project and I’m having fun with it, and don’t we all need a hobby in these trying times? That being said, I kind of miss it. I don’t miss the act of shaving, but I miss having a reason for it, like social interaction or anyone seeing my face besides my family and dog. Although the other day Rocket gave me a look that definitely said ‘alright, enough is enough’. There are bright spots of a quarantine for sure, like tv marathons and weekday wine nights, but even that gets old after a while. There are many things I miss about normal life; happy hours, concerts, looking at my phone while at the gym. Things have gotten so bad that I’m even starting to miss doing things I hate, like when you’re at a restaurant and you see the waiter grab a plate of food but it’s for the table next to you, even though their order looks just like yours. What I wouldn’t give to have that feeling again. Below I have compiled a list of some things I miss, in hopes that someday very soon I will be able to do them again.
Swimming: I don’t know if pools will ever feel safe again, and that’s coming from someone who has swam in the Willamette River multiple times.
Golf: This one isn’t for me, I’m just genuinely concerned for those who do golf. What are they going to do at 5 in the morning now? Sleep? Fat chance, I can hear those John Deere mowers revving up their engines as we speak.
Basketball: If we still had basketball, things would be a lot better. I’ve started watching simulated 2k games but it’s just not cutting it for me.
Shared appetizers: I just want some calamari man, is that too much to ask?
Small talk: Please Sharon, let's talk about the weather. You’re totally right, it has been kinda dry this winter! OK who am I kidding, I don’t miss this one yet. Give me like two weeks.
Dentists: What I wouldn’t give to be asked about my summer plans while my gums bleed like they just got shanked.
Coffee Shops: That first overpriced iced coffee is going to hit a little different.
Handshakes: I’ve been told I have a relatively firm handshake but I’m so out of practice what If I pull out the limp noodle? How will my professional career ever recover?
Awkward side hugs: I don’t know you well enough for a front hug so let's just touch hips I guess? I don’t know, whatever ends this situation as quickly as possible.
Crowded Bars: Wait, did you say twenty dollar cover? Never mind, I’m going back to quarantine.